It’s understandable that you still think about this.
Lots of people who have had this kind of experience think about it often.
Maybe you have to think about it even more.
Because you and your girlfriend are very close.
Maybe you have strange feelings when you are near her.
Maybe you are unsure if you should tell her or not.
Do you want to tell her?
Think about what you want from her when you are physically close.
Then think about what you want to say to her.
Perhaps these words will help:
Somebody once hurt me very much.
So I don’t want to do anything which will hurt again.
Sometimes I also want to stop hugging quickly.
That is because of my memories.
Not because of you.
Think about how much you want to tell her.
It is important that it feels ok to you.
You can tell her what you want from her.
First we’d like to say that your feelings are important!
Nobody is allowed to come near you if you don’t like it.
But sometimes it’s difficult to say “no”.
Maybe because you like the person.
Maybe because the others in your group like the person.
Maybe he hasn’t noticed that you find it uncomfortable.
You can say to him:
You’re coming too close to me.
Can you please stop?
I don’t like it.
He must respect that.
You can also look for help.
Perhaps a male or female friend could be there when you talk to him.
If he doesn’t accept your “no”, look for help from adults you trust.
Or go to an advice centre.
Here are some advice centres: https://www.hilfeportal-missbrauch.de/nc/adressen/hilfe-in-ihrer-naehe/kartensuche.html?tx_nxshelpdesk_helpdesk%5binstitutionType%5d=21
We can’t say whether you are right.
Sometimes this kind of feeling is right.
Sometimes this kind of feeling is wrong.
But the feeling itself is still important.
Think about what you can do to make yourself feel safer.
Maybe you could ask him why he looks at you.
You could say:
What do you want from me?
I find it uncomfortable when you look at me. I don’t want you to!
Maybe he will tell you what he wants or he will stop.
You can also say to your parents or guardian:
I’m afraid of this boy.
He’s looking at me.
What should I do?
Think carefully about what is right for you…
Has the boy also become really nasty to you?
Then definitely tell someone who can help you.
This happens to many women.
Sometimes you can get the tampon out yourself.
It has not “disappeared”.
The vagina is only a few centimetres long.
Here are a few tips.
Squat down or sit on the toilet.
Try to relax.
It works better when you are relaxed.
Maybe you can get hold of the tampon or string with your fingers.
Also try to “push down” with your muscles.
A tampon sometimes slides out by itself when you push.
If that doesn’t work you must go to your gynaecologist straightaway.
She/he will examine you and can remove the tampon immediately.
A forgotten tampon can make you ill.
So you must go to your gynaecologist soon.
Even if you are not sure if there is still a tampon inside you.
It’s not embarrassing.
It’s important so that you don’t become ill.
If you both want to you can have sex during a period.
The word “unclean” is not a nice word.
That means that a woman is not ok during her period.
That’s not true.
Girls and women also wash regularly during this time.
They shower and bathe.
Period blood is normal blood.
When you bleed you are not “unclean”.
Your blood is not bad.
There are many ways to have nice sex together.
Even during a period.
For example, stroking the clitoris outside the vagina.
That gives lots of girls and women a nice feeling.
Or touching and stroking the penis.
This is called petting.
Many girls and women are particularly excited during their period.
Sex is particularly nice for them at this time.
Talk to your girlfriend about what you both like.
You ovulate before your first period.
Then your egg is mature and can be fertilised.
Fertilisation is when a woman’s egg merges with a man’s sperm.
So you can get pregnant.
Many girls and women do not notice when they ovulate.
This might be the case for you.
Ovulation always happens before your period.
And even before your first period.
All girls have vaginal discharge before their first period.
The vaginal discharge shows that you will soon get your period.
That might be in 1 month or 1 year.
Some girls notice the vaginal discharge.
Other girls do not.
So you should use protection.
The best option is to use a condom.
A condom also protects you from sexually transmitted diseases.
Young people under the age of 18 are not allowed to watch porn films.
And adults must not allow young people to do so.
It is illegal.
The law is there to protect girls and boys.
Young people are gaining sexual experience for the first time.
They should find out for themselves what they like.
What feels good for them.
And what doesn’t feel good.
Porn films can influence that.
Young people may have had little experience with sex.
So porn films might be confusing.
These films only show sex performed for the camera.
The people and their feelings are often unimportant in these films.
But some young people might compare themselves to these people.
What the people do may not feel good to you.
You might even feel bad when you watch the films.
So young people should not watch porn films.
Yes your girlfriend can still get pregnant.
What you’re doing is called “coitus interruptus”.
That means interrupted sex.
But sperm can still get into the vagina.
Some sperm comes out of the penis before orgasm.
You won’t notice it.
You can’t prevent it.
This sperm can fertilise an egg.
And your girlfriend can get pregnant.
Ovulation often occurs midway between two periods.
But many women’s eggs mature at other times.
When did your girlfriend ovulate?
She won’t know exactly.
Many girls have very irregular periods.
Periods do not always come at the same intervals.
You can visit a gynaecologist together.
She/he can offer you advice on contraception.
It’s normal to have these thoughts.
Particularly when you do not have much experience.
Your thoughts about hygiene after sex are correct.
But you can stay in bed and cuddle for a while.
And then go to the bathroom to go to the toilet.
The female genital area is sensitive.
Doctors say that women should go to the toilet after sex.
Within 30 minutes.
Because the urinary tract can pick up bacteria.
Which can lead to bladder infections.
So it’s important not to wait too long.
Everyone does things differently.
You know your own body.
Do what’s best for you.
You can also talk about it with your boyfriend.
Then he will understand why you are getting up.