No, you will not receive any legal punishment.
As a child you are not at the age of “criminal responsibility” until you are 14.
At 13 years old you cannot be punished by law.
Only your parents or guardians can forbid you from doing something.
However, there are a few things you should consider.
For example, your boyfriend can be punished
if he is 14 or over, as he is no longer a child.
Sometimes pictures are illegal because you are only 13.
This is the case if:
- The photo shows someone under 14 having sex.
- The photo shows primarily the breasts or the area between the legs.
Irrespective of age, it is illegal if:
- Someone is talked or forced into taking the picture.
- This kind of picture is sent to someone who does not want it.
It is also illegal
to send this kind of picture to anyone else without permission.
But that sometimes happens.
If you need help on this issue, you can get in touch with someone here:
Sex is something very personal.
Many people don’t want to talk about it.
But lots of young people have questions.
They are uncertain and don’t know everything.
It is important for you to understand
that you may ask questions.
But you do not have to talk about sex with anyone.
Sometimes talking is good.
There are many reasons to talk about sex:
Young people are experiencing a lot of new things.
They might like to share with other young people.
It can be very exciting!
Many adults can answer questions from young people.
They can give information.
They want to help.
Young people should feel that:
They can talk about good and bad experiences with adults.
They can ask any questions about their bodies and about sex.
They can get help when they need it.
HPV is an abbreviation for “Human Papilloma Virus”.
Viruses can cause diseases.
Diseases caused by HPV include:
“Cervical cancer” and “genital warts”.
Cervical cancer is a serious disease in the body.
The cervix is the part of a woman’s body that joins to the top of the vagina.
Genital warts look like small brown or white nodules.
Sometimes the warts itch or burn.
HPV can be transmitted through sex with other people.
Many women and men have HPV during their lifetime.
But not everyone develops a disease from the virus.
A “vaccination” can prevent you from becoming ill.
A “vaccination” is an injection to prevent disease.
This injection helps your body to fight the virus.
You can ask your gynaecologist about this.
She can help you to make a decision.
She can vaccinate you.
It is best to get vaccinated before you first have sex.
Vaccination against HPV is free.
You are not alone in this.
Lots of girls are frightened of “cutting” (also known as “female circumcision” or “female genital mutilation”).
Lots of girls do not want to be cut.
Many families do not know that cutting can harm a girl’s health.
Cutting is illegal in Germany.
Some girls find it difficult to talk about cutting.
They are ashamed or they don’t know what to say.
Some can’t find the right words.
Feelings are always okay.
There are advice centres which can help you with this issue.
Places where girls can talk to female adults.
They can talk about fear, shame and any other feelings.
The women there do not judge the girls who come to them.
They want to help the girls.
You can tell the women what you need.
In Munich, for example, the advice centre is called the Wüstenrose (PDF, 3.3 MB).
Lots of girls and boys would like to make their partners happy.
They would like to look sexy for them.
However, there are a few things you should be aware of.
Clearly: you should think about who you are sending this type of picture to.
It is a very private thing and shows that you have full trust in your partner.
You should also ask yourself:
Does your partner want the picture?
You may not send somebody a picture who does not want to have it.
It could be a criminal offence.
This is your picture; you may decide who can see it and who cannot.
After you have sent it you cannot be certain what will happen to the photo.
Think carefully: can you trust the person to whom you are sending the photo?
Nobody may send your picture to anybody else without your permission.
If somebody violates this trust then they are at fault.
If you need more help with this issue then you can make contact with somebody here:
You are worried because of a long break.
That is completely understandable!
However, it does not have to mean you are sick.
Many girls have irregular periods at the start.
Sometimes the break between periods is short.
Then it may take a very long time until the next period.
It can often take some time until your period comes about once a month.
Usually the break is between 21 and 35 days.
For some girls the breaks are either always shorter or longer.
However, there could be another reason.
For example: if you are stressed.
If you have taken medicine.
Because your weight has changed dramatically.
If you have already had sex:
Then you may also be pregnant.
If you are uncertain you can see your gynaecologist.
They can examine you and answer your questions.
What you are doing is completely normal.
Even if you masturbate several times a day you won’t get ill.
The same applies for girls.
Young people are sometimes forbidden from masturbating.
Some people say: masturbation will make you ill or blind.
This is not true. They only say it to scare you.
During masturbation, many boys pull their penis foreskin forwards and backwards.
Or they rub the tip of their penis.
Girls can masturbate as well.
For example, by stroking the clitoris.
This is the little lump between the lips of the vulva.
You stroke yourself in this way in order to experience sexual feelings or lust.
In this way you can also experience the nicest sexual feeling, an orgasm.
Masturbation is natural human behaviour.
Regardless of whether you are young or old.
You can get to know your body really well.
You know which movements you like and which are uncomfortable.
You can also explain this to your partner later.
It certainly does not make you ill and can even relax you.
You don’t need to be afraid.
The flow of your period is different sometimes.
That may be why you bled heavily.
Do you know what a hymen looks like?
Let me explain:
Many believe it is skin grown over the vagina.
But this is wrong: the hymen is just a fold.
The fold is around the entrance to the vagina.
This fold always looks different:
Sometimes it is very small and you can hardly see it.
Sometimes it is larger and there is only a small entrance.
What’s important is: that every girl’s hymen looks different.
Only about half of all girls bleed when they have sex for the first time.
You cannot tell by looking if a girl has had sex.
So you don’t need to worry at all.
If you would like more advice you can visit a gynaecologist or a ProFamilia office (https://www.profamilia.de/)
You can find out what happens there in this question: All my girlfriends at school have already visited the gynaecologist. Do I (14) also need to go? What happens?
You should visit the gynaecologist if you:
- Have questions about sexuality and your body.
- Need a contraceptive.
- Are pregnant.
- Have pains in your lower abdomen or when you have your period.
- Would like to terminate a pregnancy.
A gynaecologist will talk to you first.
She wants to know how you want her to help you.
Then you decide together whether to have an examination.
Then you need to get undressed.
If you are wearing a skirt you only take off your underwear.
Then the doctor examines your ‘vagina’.
That means: she uses a speculum to look into your vagina.
A speculum is a small, metal tube.
It is pushed a little way into your vagina so that the doctor can look inside.
This examination is not always necessary.
You can decide if it should be done.
The doctor will see if you are still a virgin.
The hymen is not usually damaged.
You can watch a doctor explaining what happens here: https://gutzuwissenfilm.wordpress.com/ (video in German, Turkish, Farsi, Arabic and English)
We don’t know if your girl friends have already had sex.
Sex can be done in different ways.
Let’s look at ‘intercourse’.
Intercourse means: the penis is pushed into the girl’s vagina.
So what do most girls and boys in Germany do?
Lots of young people are asked regularly.
They answer anonymously: that means they do not give their names.
Imagine a school class with 10 boys and 10 girls the same age as you.
Only four of these girls have already had sex.
That means: six girls are still waiting a bit longer to try sex.
It’s very similar for 16 year old boys.
Here, too, only four boys have already had sex.
Most young people are still waiting for the right partner.
Some are worried about getting pregnant.
Some are still too young or afraid of their parents.
Every girl or boy should only do what is right for them.