I (15 years old) would like to send my boyfriend a sexy photo of myself. I am topless in the picture with no bra. My girl friends say that I should not do it. Is there a reason not to?

Lots of girls and boys would like to make their partners happy.
They would like to look sexy for them.
However, there are a few things you should be aware of.

Clearly: you should think about who you are sending this type of picture to.
It is a very private thing and shows that you have full trust in your partner.
You should also ask yourself:
Does your partner want the picture?
You may not send somebody a picture who does not want to have it.
It could be a criminal offence.

Please consider:
This is your picture; you may decide who can see it and who cannot.
After you have sent it you cannot be certain what will happen to the photo.
Think carefully: can you trust the person to whom you are sending the photo?
Nobody may send your picture to anybody else without your permission.
If somebody violates this trust then they are at fault.
If you need more help with this issue then you can make contact with somebody here:
http://www.nina-info.de/save-me-online/kontakt-beratung.html

I (14, girl) have had three periods so far. There has always been a break of about one month between them. However, I have not bled for four months now. Am I sick?

You are worried because of a long break.
That is completely understandable!
However, it does not have to mean you are sick.

Many girls have irregular periods at the start.
Sometimes the break between periods is short.
Then it may take a very long time until the next period.
It can often take some time until your period comes about once a month.
Usually the break is between 21 and 35 days.
For some girls the breaks are either always shorter or longer.

However, there could be another reason.
For example: if you are stressed.
If you have taken medicine.
Because your weight has changed dramatically.
If you have already had sex:
Then you may also be pregnant.

If you are uncertain you can see your gynaecologist.
They can examine you and answer your questions.

My uncle told me (14, boy) that I will become ill if I masturbate too often. I do it at least once a day. Is that unhealthy?

What you are doing is completely normal.
Even if you masturbate several times a day you won’t get ill.
The same applies for girls.

Young people are sometimes forbidden from masturbating.
Some people say: masturbation will make you ill or blind.
This is not true. They only say it to scare you.

During masturbation, many boys pull their penis foreskin forwards and backwards.
Or they rub the tip of their penis.
Girls can masturbate as well.
For example, by stroking the clitoris.
This is the little lump between the lips of the vulva.

You stroke yourself in this way in order to experience sexual feelings or lust.
In this way you can also experience the nicest sexual feeling, an orgasm.
Masturbation is natural human behaviour.
Regardless of whether you are young or old.

You can get to know your body really well.
You know which movements you like and which are uncomfortable.
You can also explain this to your partner later.
It certainly does not make you ill and can even relax you.

I (14 year old) had my period last week. I used a tampon and I suddenly started bleeding heavily. I am afraid I may have damaged my hymen. What can I do now?

You don’t need to be afraid.
The flow of your period is different sometimes.
That may be why you bled heavily.

Do you know what a hymen looks like?
Let me explain:
Many believe it is skin grown over the vagina.
But this is wrong: the hymen is just a fold.
The fold is around the entrance to the vagina.
This fold always looks different:
Sometimes it is very small and you can hardly see it.
Sometimes it is larger and there is only a small entrance.

What’s important is: that every girl’s hymen looks different.
Only about half of all girls bleed when they have sex for the first time.
You cannot tell by looking if a girl has had sex.
So you don’t need to worry at all.
If you would like more advice you can visit a gynaecologist or a ProFamilia office (https://www.profamilia.de/)
You can find out what happens there in this question: All my girlfriends at school have already visited the gynaecologist. Do I (14) also need to go? What happens?

All my girlfriends at school have already visited the gynaecologist. Do I (14) also need to go? What happens?

You should visit the gynaecologist if you:

  • Have questions about sexuality and your body.
  • Need a contraceptive.
  • Are pregnant.
  • Have pains in your lower abdomen or when you have your period.
  • Would like to terminate a pregnancy.

A gynaecologist will talk to you first.
She wants to know how you want her to help you.
Then you decide together whether to have an examination.
Then you need to get undressed.
If you are wearing a skirt you only take off your underwear.
Then the doctor examines your ‘vagina’.
That means: she uses a speculum to look into your vagina.
A speculum is a small, metal tube.
It is pushed a little way into your vagina so that the doctor can look inside.

This examination is not always necessary.
You can decide if it should be done.
The doctor will see if you are still a virgin.
The hymen is not usually damaged.
You can watch a doctor explaining what happens here: https://gutzuwissenfilm.wordpress.com/ (video in German, Turkish, Farsi, Arabic and English)

My parents say I (16) have to be careful with my German girl friends. They have already all had sex with boys. Are my parents right?

We don’t know if your girl friends have already had sex.
Sex can be done in different ways.
Let’s look at ‘intercourse’.
Intercourse means: the penis is pushed into the girl’s vagina.

So what do most girls and boys in Germany do?
Lots of young people are asked regularly.
They answer anonymously: that means they do not give their names.

Imagine a school class with 10 boys and 10 girls the same age as you.
Only four of these girls have already had sex.
That means: six girls are still waiting a bit longer to try sex.
It’s very similar for 16 year old boys.
Here, too, only four boys have already had sex.

Most young people are still waiting for the right partner.
Some are worried about getting pregnant.
Some are still too young or afraid of their parents.
Every girl or boy should only do what is right for them.

I have recently started growing hair on my face (boy, 14). My voice is strange. It’s embarrassing.

You are worried because your body is changing.
But that’s completely normal: you are growing up.

Your body is now producing sexual hormones.
These hormones are new information for your body.
They are telling it what needs to change.
They are slowly turning your body into a grown-up’s body.
This period of change is called ‘puberty’.

You start growing hair in your armpits and genital area.
You start growing beard hair, which you can shave off or leave to grow.
Your voice changes from a child’s voice to a man’s voice.
You experience ejaculations.
That means: fertile semen comes out of your penis.
This change doesn’t happen overnight, it takes a bit of time.

And: the hormones make you feel things very strongly.
Sometimes you will feel very sad, sometimes very angry and sometimes very happy.
This is all part of puberty and part of growing up.
This change in feelings will calm down again at some point.

There is a 17 year old girl in my class. She told us that she is actually a boy. I find it confusing! How should I act around her?

It is completely understandable that you are confused.
I suspect many young people feel the same way.
She has told you something important about herself: she feels she is a boy.
Her physical gender is not the gender she feels she is.

We would like to explain it to you:
Who are you? How do you perceive yourself? This is your ‘identity’.
‘Gender identity’ means what gender you consider yourself to be.
If the gender you feel yourself to be does not match your physical gender it is called:
‘Trans-identity’ or ‘Trans-gender’.
That means some girls feel they are boys.
And some boys feel they are girls.
Some people are also born ‘inter-sexual’.
That means their body is neither clearly male nor female.
Some of these people do not feel they are male or female.
So you see: there are a lot of different gender identities!
The best thing to do is to continue treating him as you did before.
Or you can ask what she or he would prefer.
For example, how she or he would like to be addressed.

I am a 13-year-old girl. My entire body is changing. Is that normal?

You’re worried because your body is changing.
But that is completely normal.
The bodies of all girls and boys change as they grow up.

This is what will happen over the next few years:
You will now produce sex hormones in your body.
Hormones give new information to your body.
They tell your body what needs to change.
This time of change is called “puberty”.

Hair will grow under your arms and in your pubic area.
You will sweat more frequently.
You may get spots on your face and back.
Your hair will become oilier and should be washed more often.
You will get your period.
Your breasts will start to grow.
Your nipples will become larger and darker.

These hormones will also make you feel very strong emotions.
Sometimes you will feel very sad, sometimes very angry and sometimes very happy.
That is all part of puberty.

My friend told me that he ejaculated. What does that mean?

Boys and men can ejaculate.

That means that fluid comes out of the penis.
This sometimes happens during sleep.
Or when a boy or a man rubs and strokes his penis.
And it happens mostly when a man has sex with someone else.

The boy or man will experience a great feeling when he ejaculates.
That great feeling is called an orgasm.
Most fluid comes out of the penis at the moment of orgasm.
Some fluid may also come out of the penis before orgasm.
From puberty, this fluid contains sperm.

Sperm can become a baby together with an egg.
The egg is found in the woman’s -> womb.
The penis sometimes enters the woman’s womb during sex.

Ejaculation is not bad.
Men and boys experience it as a good feeling.
Most boys and men ejaculate a lot during their lifetime.
Men should always use a -> condom to avoid “accidentally” making a baby.
A condom also protects men and women from contracting certain diseases.