Tips for refugees

Young people under the age of 18 are not allowed to watch porn films.
And adults must not allow young people to do so.
It is illegal.

The law is there to protect girls and boys.
Young people are gaining sexual experience for the first time.
They should find out for themselves what they like.
What feels good for them.
And what doesn’t feel good.
Porn films can influence that.

Young people may have had little experience with sex.
So porn films might be confusing.
These films only show sex performed for the camera.
The people and their feelings are often unimportant in these films.
But some young people might compare themselves to these people.
What the people do may not feel good to you.
You might even feel bad when you watch the films.
So young people should not watch porn films.

Yes your girlfriend can still get pregnant.
What you’re doing is called “coitus interruptus”.
That means interrupted sex.
But sperm can still get into the vagina.
Some sperm comes out of the penis before orgasm.
You won’t notice it.
You can’t prevent it.
This sperm can fertilise an egg.
And your girlfriend can get pregnant.

Ovulation often occurs midway between two periods.
But many women’s eggs mature at other times.
When did your girlfriend ovulate?
She won’t know exactly.
Many girls have very irregular periods.
Periods do not always come at the same intervals.

You can visit a gynaecologist together.
She/he can offer you advice on contraception.

It’s normal to have these thoughts.
Particularly when you do not have much experience.
Your thoughts about hygiene after sex are correct.

But you can stay in bed and cuddle for a while.
And then go to the bathroom to go to the toilet.

The female genital area is sensitive.
Doctors say that women should go to the toilet after sex.
Within 30 minutes.
Because the urinary tract can pick up bacteria.
Which can lead to bladder infections.
So it’s important not to wait too long.

Everyone does things differently.
You know your own body.
Do what’s best for you.
You can also talk about it with your boyfriend.
Then he will understand why you are getting up.

No, you will not receive any legal punishment.
As a child you are not at the age of “criminal responsibility” until you are 14.
At 13 years old you cannot be punished by law.
Only your parents or guardians can forbid you from doing something.

However, there are a few things you should consider.
For example, your boyfriend can be punished
if he is 14 or over, as he is no longer a child.

Sometimes pictures are illegal because you are only 13.

This is the case if:

• The photo shows someone under 14 having sex.
• The photo shows primarily the breasts or the area between the legs.

Irrespective of age, it is illegal if:

• Someone is talked or forced into taking the picture.
• This kind of picture is sent to someone who does not want it.

It is also illegal
to send this kind of picture to anyone else without permission.

But that sometimes happens.

If you need help on this issue, you can get in touch with someone here:

http://www.nina-info.de/save-me-online/kontakt-beratung.html

Sex is something very personal.
Many people don’t want to talk about it.
But lots of young people have questions.
They are uncertain and don’t know everything.
It is important for you to understand
that you may ask questions.
But you do not have to talk about sex with anyone.

Sometimes talking is good.
There are many reasons to talk about sex:
Young people are experiencing a lot of new things.
They might like to share with other young people.
It can be very exciting!

Many adults can answer questions from young people.
They can give information.
They want to help.
Young people should feel that:
They can talk about good and bad experiences with adults.
They can ask any questions about their bodies and about sex.
They can get help when they need it.

HPV is an abbreviation for “Human Papilloma Virus”.
Viruses can cause diseases.
Diseases caused by HPV include:
“Cervical cancer” and “genital warts”.
Cervical cancer is a serious disease in the body.
The cervix is the part of a woman’s body that joins to the top of the vagina.
Genital warts look like small brown or white nodules.
Sometimes the warts itch or burn.

HPV can be transmitted through sex with other people.
Many women and men have HPV during their lifetime.
But not everyone develops a disease from the virus.
A “vaccination” can prevent you from becoming ill.
A “vaccination” is an injection to prevent disease.
This injection helps your body to fight the virus.
You can ask your gynaecologist about this.
She can help you to make a decision.
She can vaccinate you.
It is best to get vaccinated before you first have sex.
Vaccination against HPV is free.

You are not alone in this.
Lots of girls are frightened of “cutting” (also known as “female circumcision” or “female genital mutilation”).
Lots of girls do not want to be cut.
Many families do not know that cutting can harm a girl’s health.
Cutting is illegal in Germany.

Some girls find it difficult to talk about cutting.
They are ashamed or they don’t know what to say.
Some can’t find the right words.
Feelings are always okay.

There are advice centres which can help you with this issue.
Places where girls can talk to female adults.
They can talk about fear, shame and any other feelings.
The women there do not judge the girls who come to them.
They want to help the girls.
You can tell the women what you need.

In Munich, for example, the advice centre is called the Wüstenrose (PDF, 3.3 MB).