Your friends are not playing a game.
What they are doing is prohibited in Germany.
Your friends can even be punished.
Girls and women in Germany have the same rights as boys and men.
They should not be harassed.
Nobody is allowed to touch them if they don’t want to be touched.
Nobody is allowed to frighten or hurt them.
You should not go with your friends.
If you are there you can also be punished.
Even if you do not harass a girl yourself.
Your friends may pressure you to go.
They want you to be there.
And you want to have friends.
You need a lot of courage to say NO.
Ask an adult to help you.
They might have an idea what you can do in response to the pressure from your friends.
Committing a criminal offence can have bad consequences for your future.
What these boys are doing is prohibited in Germany.
You should not be ashamed.
What these boys are doing can be punished.
Girls and women in Germany have the same rights as boys and men.
Nobody is allowed to harass you.
Nobody is allowed to touch you against your will.
Nobody is allowed to frighten you or hurt you.
Tell your teacher about it.
Or someone else you trust.
You can learn how to react to foolish advances.
There are courses where you can practice this with other people.
You will learn how strong you are.
You will learn when you should run away.
You will learn what you can say.
You will learn who can help you.
You can take a course with a friend.
Your teacher can tell you where you can take a course.
You can also ask the school therapist or social worker at school.
You are not doing anything wrong.
The boys are responsible for their behaviour and must change.
No, you can’t get pregnant from kissing!
You can only get pregnant when sperm cells get inside or very close to the vagina.
I.e. when you have sex.
Even if the penis is only briefly inside the vagina.
Sperm cells come out of the penis.
These sperm cells can fertilise a woman’s egg cells.
You can also get pregnant during your period!
If you don’t want to get pregnant, you should always use protection.
There are a number of different types of protection.
You can get information about types of protection from the doctor or at an advice centre.
You can buy condoms in supermarkets and pharmacies.
They are safe and also protect you from diseases.
The pill, the contraceptive coil and the vaginal ring are types of protection which use hormones.
They must be prescribed by the doctor.
In “emergencies” you can buy the “morning after pill” from a pharmacy.
An “emergency” is when you have not used contraception or when there was an accident with the contraception.
The “morning after pill” must be taken within three days of having unprotected sex.
Text: pro familia München e.V.
You’re worried because your body is changing.
But that is completely normal.
The bodies of all girls and boys change as they grow up.
This is what will happen over the next few years:
You will now produce sex hormones in your body.
Hormones give new information to your body.
They tell your body what needs to change.
This time of change is called “puberty”.
Hair will grow under your arms and in your pubic area.
You will sweat more frequently.
You may get spots on your face and back.
Your hair will become oilier and should be washed more often.
You will get your period.
Your breasts will start to grow.
Your nipples will become larger and darker.
These hormones will also make you feel very strong emotions.
Sometimes you will feel very sad, sometimes very angry and sometimes very happy.
That is all part of puberty.
Boys and men can ejaculate.
That means that fluid comes out of the penis.
This sometimes happens during sleep.
Or when a boy or a man rubs and strokes his penis.
And it happens mostly when a man has sex with someone else.
The boy or man will experience a great feeling when he ejaculates.
That great feeling is called an orgasm.
Most fluid comes out of the penis at the moment of orgasm.
Some fluid may also come out of the penis before orgasm.
From puberty, this fluid contains sperm.
Sperm can become a baby together with an egg.
The egg is found in the woman’s -> womb.
The penis sometimes enters the woman’s womb during sex.
Ejaculation is not bad.
Men and boys experience it as a good feeling.
Most boys and men ejaculate a lot during their lifetime.
Men should always use a -> condom to avoid “accidentally” making a baby.
A condom also protects men and women from contracting certain diseases.
In Germany, people live together in many different ways.
Here are a few examples:
Some men and women are married and have children.
Some men and women have children and are NOT married.
Some men and women are married and have NO children.
Some couples are separated or divorced.
That means that they have ended their relationship.
Some of these couples have children.
The children might then live with their mother or their father.
Some men and women are homosexual.
They might be in a relationship with a person of the same gender.
Some people live in shared accommodation.
That means that they live together but are not in a relationship or a family.
Lots of men and women also live alone when they are adults.
Everyone can decide how they want to live.
All of these options are permitted in Germany.
Nobody in these examples is good or bad.
And nobody may be discriminated against or prosecuted for this behaviour.
It’s okay if you don’t want to get married.
You are not a bad woman.
Behave just as you did before.
She is in love with someone of the same gender.
If you are in love with someone of a different gender, that is called heterosexual.
If you are in love with someone of the same gender, that is called homosexual.
Homosexual girls are also called lesbian.
Homosexual boys are also called gay.
Nobody can choose how they feel.
Some people fall in love with people of either gender.
If you are sometimes homosexual and sometimes heterosexual, that is called bisexual.
This is completely normal.
There are many different ways to be together with someone.
But unfortunately, not all of them are accepted in some countries.
Many girls and boys find it difficult to be homosexual.
Your friend probably finds it difficult to tell people.
That needs a lot of courage.
That shows that your friend trusts you.
You may not be able to understand why she is in love with a girl.
You don’t have to understand.
What’s important is that your friend is still the same person.
You might be afraid that she is in love with you.
But that usually isn’t true.
You can still be friends as normal.
You can listen to her and have fun with her.
Your friend will hopefully remain your friend.
It’s great to have a good friend.
This must be a very worrying situation for you.
It is therefore important that you understand
that honour has different meanings in different cultures.
In Germany, a person might be considered dishonourable
if they do not respect the laws and regulations
or if they hit or rape women and children.
It can be honourable to help someone when they need help and protection.
In some cultures people understand honour differently.
Sometimes honour means that a girl should remain a virgin until marriage.
Or that girls and boys should marry a person chosen by their families.
But these decisions should be made by you alone.
It is your personal right!
Nobody is allowed to violate your rights.
You can get help if your family thinks otherwise and puts you under pressure.
It is not ok for your family to pressure you about your virginity.
You can get help via these websites:
A homosexual is someone who loves someone of their own sex.
A boy who loves another boy.
Or a girl who loves another girl.
These people can have sex together if they want to.
Homosexuals are also called gay if they’re boys or lesbian if they’re girls.
You didn’t want to do those things.
This is called sexual abuse.
This is prohibited. Adults who abuse children can be severely punished.
Read this little story.
You climb a tree and sit on a branch.
Suddenly a man climbs up and pushes you off the branch.
You injure yourself and it hurts.
It’s not your fault that you fell off.
The man pushed you.
You climb the tree again. There is nobody there.
You don’t fall from the branch.
You can stay sitting on that branch or climb onto another branch.
Just because you were pushed once, that does not mean you will always fall off the tree.
This means that sexual abuse by a man does not make you gay.
You will find out yourself later if you are gay or not.
You will know when you fall in love with someone.
You might think
that the security guard is looking out for you.
He helps you and lets you do lots of things.
Maybe he won’t help you any more if you complain.
You don’t know who to talk to about it.
If the security guard is helping you that is his decision.
But it is not ok if he does something you don’t like.
You are the one who decides who can touch you.
There are lots of people who help you.
You only need to thank them and nothing more.
If someone honestly wants to help you,
they won’t do anything you don’t like.
It’s good to talk to someone about it.
You can talk to the social workers in your sheltered accommodation.
Or talk to people at an advice centre.
Find advice centres via these websites: