03_bauchgefuehl_vertrauenI am a 16-year-old girl and I have a fixed group of male and female friends. We spend a lot of time together. One of the boys always comes very close to me. I don’t want him to. How can I tell him? We’re friends!

First we’d like to say that your feelings are important!
Nobody is allowed to come near you if you don’t like it.
But sometimes it’s difficult to say “no”.
Maybe because you like the person.
Maybe because the others in your group like the person.
Maybe he hasn’t noticed that you find it uncomfortable.
You can say to him:
You’re coming too close to me.
Can you please stop?
I don’t like it.
He must respect that.

You can also look for help.
Perhaps a male or female friend could be there when you talk to him.
If he doesn’t accept your “no”, look for help from adults you trust.
Or go to an advice centre.
Here are some advice centres: https://www.hilfeportal-missbrauch.de/nc/adressen/hilfe-in-ihrer-naehe/kartensuche.html?tx_nxshelpdesk_helpdesk%5binstitutionType%5d=21

I am a 15-year-old girl and there is an older boy who lives in my neighbourhood and often takes the tram at the same time as me. He looks at me. I’m afraid of him. The others say I should be rational.

We can’t say whether you are right.
Sometimes this kind of feeling is right.
Sometimes this kind of feeling is wrong.
But the feeling itself is still important.
Think about what you can do to make yourself feel safer.

Maybe you could ask him why he looks at you.
You could say:
What do you want from me?
I find it uncomfortable when you look at me. I don’t want you to!
Maybe he will tell you what he wants or he will stop.

You can also say to your parents or guardian:
I’m afraid of this boy.
He’s looking at me.
What should I do?
Think carefully about what is right for you…
Has the boy also become really nasty to you?
Then definitely tell someone who can help you.

I am 14 years old. I have used tampons for my period for a few months. Yesterday I forgot I had a tampon inside and then I inserted a new tampon. Now I can’t get the old tampon out. What should I do?

This happens to many women.
Sometimes you can get the tampon out yourself.
It has not “disappeared”.
The vagina is only a few centimetres long.

Here are a few tips.
Squat down or sit on the toilet.
Try to relax.
It works better when you are relaxed.
Maybe you can get hold of the tampon or string with your fingers.
Also try to “push down” with your muscles.
A tampon sometimes slides out by itself when you push.

If that doesn’t work you must go to your gynaecologist straightaway.
She/he will examine you and can remove the tampon immediately.
A forgotten tampon can make you ill.
So you must go to your gynaecologist soon.
Even if you are not sure if there is still a tampon inside you.
It’s not embarrassing.
It’s important so that you don’t become ill.

My girlfriend has her period. She wants to have sex with me now. Is that ok? She is unclean at this time.

If you both want to you can have sex during a period.
The word “unclean” is not a nice word.
That means that a woman is not ok during her period.
That’s not true.
Girls and women also wash regularly during this time.
They shower and bathe.

Period blood is normal blood.
When you bleed you are not “unclean”.
Your blood is not bad.

There are many ways to have nice sex together.
Even during a period.
For example, stroking the clitoris outside the vagina.
That gives lots of girls and women a nice feeling.
Or touching and stroking the penis.
This is called petting.

Many girls and women are particularly excited during their period.
Sex is particularly nice for them at this time.
Talk to your girlfriend about what you both like.

I am a 14-year-old girl and I have sex with my boyfriend. We don’t use protection. He says that I can’t get pregnant. As I haven’t yet had my period. Is that true?

You ovulate before your first period.
Then your egg is mature and can be fertilised.
Fertilisation is when a woman’s egg merges with a man’s sperm.
So you can get pregnant.

Many girls and women do not notice when they ovulate.
This might be the case for you.
Ovulation always happens before your period.
And even before your first period.

All girls have vaginal discharge before their first period.
The vaginal discharge shows that you will soon get your period.
That might be in 1 month or 1 year.
Some girls notice the vaginal discharge.
Other girls do not.
So you should use protection.
The best option is to use a condom.
A condom also protects you from sexually transmitted diseases.

Lots of my friends watch porn films. I am a 14-year-old boy and I find that exciting. I would also like to watch these films. But my friends say it must be kept secret. I shouldn’t say anything to adults. Why is that?

Young people under the age of 18 are not allowed to watch porn films.
And adults must not allow young people to do so.
It is illegal.

The law is there to protect girls and boys.
Young people are gaining sexual experience for the first time.
They should find out for themselves what they like.
What feels good for them.
And what doesn’t feel good.
Porn films can influence that.

Young people may have had little experience with sex.
So porn films might be confusing.
These films only show sex performed for the camera.
The people and their feelings are often unimportant in these films.
But some young people might compare themselves to these people.
What the people do may not feel good to you.
You might even feel bad when you watch the films.
So young people should not watch porn films.

I am a 16-year-old boy and I have sex with my girlfriend. I pull my penis out of her vagina before orgasm. And we only have sex shortly after her period. Or shortly before her next period. Can she still get pregnant?

Yes your girlfriend can still get pregnant.
What you’re doing is called “coitus interruptus”.
That means interrupted sex.
But sperm can still get into the vagina.
Some sperm comes out of the penis before orgasm.
You won’t notice it.
You can’t prevent it.
This sperm can fertilise an egg.
And your girlfriend can get pregnant.

Ovulation often occurs midway between two periods.
But many women’s eggs mature at other times.
When did your girlfriend ovulate?
She won’t know exactly.
Many girls have very irregular periods.
Periods do not always come at the same intervals.

You can visit a gynaecologist together.
She/he can offer you advice on contraception.

I am a 17-year-old girl and yesterday I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. I wanted to wash myself afterwards, because I wanted to feel clean. But I was unsure whether my boyfriend would think that was stupid. What do other people do?

It’s normal to have these thoughts.
Particularly when you do not have much experience.
Your thoughts about hygiene after sex are correct.

But you can stay in bed and cuddle for a while.
And then go to the bathroom to go to the toilet.

The female genital area is sensitive.
Doctors say that women should go to the toilet after sex.
Within 30 minutes.
Because the urinary tract can pick up bacteria.
Which can lead to bladder infections.
So it’s important not to wait too long.

Everyone does things differently.
You know your own body.
Do what’s best for you.
You can also talk about it with your boyfriend.
Then he will understand why you are getting up.

All my friends are on Lovoo. What is that?

Lovoo is a dating app.
A dating app is an app for meeting people and flirting.
You can meet other people via your smartphone.
You see a photo of the person and you can write to them.
There are many different dating apps.

You can find lots of friends on Lovoo.
Or you can start a relationship.
You can register on Lovoo free of charge.
But you must be 17 years old.
Attention: Some services on Lovoo cost money.

Some people use dating apps for other reasons.
They may want to trick you.
Or they may (only) want to have sex with you.
Sometimes they may also lie about their age.

If you want to meet up with someone:
Meet them in a place where there are other people.
Say what you want and what you don’t want.
Get help if anything is not ok.

I am 15 years old. I was pregnant and I terminated the pregnancy. The others at school say that I am a murderer, that I killed my child.

You didn’t want a child yet.
You decided to have an abortion.
That is your right.
An abortion is not murder.
In Germany there are rules about when you can get an abortion.
When is it permitted?
When is it not permitted?

Others may not understand you.
They may want to know why you did it.

You can say to them:
I don’t like what you’re saying.
What you’re saying is hurtful.

You can also explain why you did it.
Then they might understand you.

But you do not have to explain.